Confronting the dreaded ‘C’ word – conflict!
In our latest article, Integrity Associate, Phil Holdcroft, addresses the topic of conflict – in his usual engaging and inspirational manner! A previous combat helicopter pilot and senior leader, Phil rowed 3,000 miles across the Atlantic to fundraise for charity – and gained some valuable insight into conflict during the course.
Thirty-six days strapped in an eight-meter rowing boat completely changed my perspective on conflict. The intensity, pressure, and raw emotions of this near-impossible challenge required the team to reframe conflict as a performance tool; as something to be embraced.
This was a change from my younger years. Growing up I viewed conflict as something to be avoided. As a family, we’d habitually step on eggshells to avoid bringing issues to a head (with the exception of sibling rivalries – obviously). Years later as a combat helicopter captain and senior officer in the Royal Air Force, I used to pride myself on being a peacemaker, diffusing tension, and navigating fiery team dynamics.
However, an ocean rowing boat is a unique environment for conflict. Unlike typical work or domestic environments, there is no escape, no home time, or weekend respite where you can vent and decompress. The physical and emotional knife-edge where we operated left no room for festering issues, grudges or toxicity. Accordingly, we forged a new approach to conflict, and that approach was centred on the following three principles:
A low bar for raising issues – This allowed problems to be nipped in the bud early, rather than building to a point of confrontation.
Acceptance and respect – Irrespective of how irrational an issue might seem, we committed to accepting and respecting each other’s issues. We Recognised that empathetically dealing with an issue, however bizarre, raised the performance of the team.
Trust and vulnerability – We agreed to be wholly open and transparent with each other. This required enormous trust and vulnerability, however, it prevented harbouring negative emotions which would impact individual and team performance.
Whilst countless issues were ‘dealt with’ over the course of 3,000 miles of ocean rowing, remarkably, we didn’t have one single argument.
Perhaps the greatest revelation, for me, was that these principles can work in all team environments – extreme emotional exhaustion and close proximity is not a prerequisite! It has genuinely transformed how I approach conflict on a daily basis. Success relies on an agreed understanding of how conflict will be dealt with and commitment to this understanding. By doing just that, you will create the conditions where conflict can be embraced.
If you’d like to learn more about how our Associates like Phil can help you to more effectively confront conflict, visit our services page or get in touch to have a confidential conversation.
